“I’m Not Fine:” How I’m Learning to Be Okay With Not Being Okay.


Photo | femmedevleaurs.com

How many times have you heard the phrase “Well someone has it far more worse than you.” I’m sure you’ve heard it on several occasions, right? As if, that’s the first thing you want to hear when you’re in a bad space. I’ve always found it weird that as humans we’re taught to compare our pain instead of just dealing with it than moving on from it.

Lately, I haven’t felt like myself. I would be lying if I said I was “Happy Dev” all of the time like I used to be. I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason that has me in this bit of a funk, but it’s not necessarily just one thing that has me feeling this way. It’s a multitude of things. Between trying to solidify my career, the bullshxt taking place around the world, and people constantly trying my spirit on a daily it becoming increasingly harder to remain a pleasant person 95% of the time.

I honestly can’t explain the emotion I’m feeling but I do know it’s not myself. The Deveney I know never allowed outside influences get to her, but the more I become empathetic to the world around me, the more I don’t feel like myself. So what’s the solution? Do I tune out the world around me, and escape back into my self-asorbed bubble I finally freed my inner-self from? Or do I continue on this journey of being conscientious of the world around me, sacrificing a bit of my inner-peace as well?

I haven’t quite figured out what the answer will be, but I do know who to turn to for it. No matter how I’m feeling, or what my current state is I know there is a higher power that will always guide me through it. So I’m going to lean on my faith, as I was taught to do as a child. I’m a firm believer in God and the universe, and one thing I always know is that everything will align in my favor to see me through.

Well until next time,

2 Responses to “I’m Not Fine:” How I’m Learning to Be Okay With Not Being Okay.

  1. Amazing read and snapshot of life when we’re faced with pain. I agree with you that finding that higher power, God, to guide us through the struggle is highly likely to make facing the day a bit more bearable. Much love to you, Dev!

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