At 26 I have more romantic options than I know what to do with. Most are fantastic guys, whom I’m sure some girl somewhere is praying for…however I’m just not one of them. Ever since I could remember I’ve never been a real fairytale romance kind of girl. And no, it’s not because I don’t believe in love. In fact, I believe in love so much that I don’t want to enter a situation and commit to it unless I’m absolutely sure it’s the real thing.
My twenties dating history has been interesting to say the least. I’ve dated every “type” of guy you could possibly date, and in almost every case it didn’t turn into anything serious because I just didn’t want it to. Something that has always been mind-blogging to everyone around me. They can’t seem to wrap their head around the idea that a “pretty girl” that meets all of the “wifey” requirements would rather be happily single instead of be in a relationship. As if, singeldom is a horrible plague you should try to avoid.
Unfortunately, singledom has never been viewed as something a person would actually seek, especially not a woman. And if a woman does want to be single then she’s either viewed as severely heartbroken with trust issues or is a “hoe” (which isn’t even a real thing but whatever). The fact that a woman being single is always synonymous with unhappiness just isn’t fair. Why is it so hard to believe that some women truly do enjoy the company of themselves the most? I’ve always appreciated the sanctity that comes with being by myself. I can honestly say I know myself in every aspect. Has it always been a comfortable journey? No. But anything that helps you grow as a person is never comfortable.
I often feel people view relationships as something to do when there is nothing to do. However, relationships are a huge deal to me. There is a lot of compromise, and selflessness that is involved. You have to constantly ask yourself how will this affect my partner? I know for a fact I’m just not in the headspace to willingly choose others and their needs before my own. I view my twenties as my selfish years. I want to fully enjoy this time in my life while I can, so when the time does come for me to commit to someone, I won’t have any regrets. I’ll be able to say I fully enjoyed the freedom of being single in my twenties.
People often get caught up in the idea that if they only focus on themselves then they will be perceived as being selfish. Truthfully, being selfish isn’t always a negative thing, especially if you’re being selfish with your time. My time and energy are valuable, and are only limited to what means the most to me. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want, and not wasting your time if you feel a person is incapable of giving that to you. It’s important to acknowledge what you deserve.
It took me a long time to get to this place. I’m truly comfortable with being completely alone, and I’m going to selfishly enjoy this mental space that I am in. I’ve found true inner-peace and I’m not going to let go of that because those around me feel I should be committed to someone. They don’t have to be in that relationship, I do.
I do know that when I do finally decide to share myself with someone, it will be the right someone, and they will not complete me but make me want to be a better individual. However, until that time comes I’m going to continue to live a fabulous life by my lonesome. So everyone please do us happily single folks a favor and stop hounding us with questions about our relationship statuses. No, we don’t feel incomplete. No, we won’t regret our decision to stay single in the future. No, we are not making the best out of our situations. We are happy, and living our lives to the fullest for ourselves, by ourselves.
Until next time,