Monthly Archives: October 2016
One month ago today, I turned the big 2 6 (please say 26 with lots of sarcasm as there is nothing traditionally groundbreaking about this age). So far, 26 is turning out to be the year of being a real grown-up for me. Within just one month I’ve had to make some very important decisions pertaining to my career and my life, and for the first time I couldn’t just wing it, I had to thoroughly weigh out my choices and make the best decision.
Unlike many others I don’t fear getting older, instead I embrace it. As cliché as it sounds with every year comes much needed wisdom and a plethora of knowledge. Year 25 was a big one. Life began to just fall into place for me last year. I learned ALOT, and I wouldn’t trade all of those crazy experiences for anything in the world.
Thus far, 25 has been my most favorite year of my twenties journey. So in true Dev fashion, it would only be right that I do somewhat of a farewell post to it. On last year, I dedicated a post to 25 by listing 25 things I had learned in life that equipped me for the quarter of a century mark. Below I’ve decided to list the 5 grand lessons 25 taught me. Check them out!
1. Stop thinking about something and just do it.
I have to admit I was one of those people that overthought every little detail of my life. I would overanalyze everything, to the point where I became mentally and emotionally exhausted. After having a much needed conversation with my dear friend Hébert, I made a promise to myself that I would stop daydreaming about living and actually go out and live. It was the best decision I could have ever made. Once I embraced going with the flow of life, my true self began to thrive. I began to see a positive change in everything around me, and I actually felt for the first time real freedom.
2. Revenge is a serious waste of your time.
Up until last year I was one of those people that had the mentality of don’t get mad, get even. Then one day, I asked myself what was I truly getting out of that? The instant gratification of revenge does nothing for your soul in the long run, and at this point in my life my inner-peace is the most important thing to me. So instead of getting revenge, I made it my mission to understand people better and why they make the decisions that they do.
3. Loving yourself isn’t always easy, and that’s okay.
Although I took a new, more open approach to life last year, the old more “harsh perfectionist Dev” was still around. In the past, I wasn’t a person that ever allowed themselves any room for error, so when I did mess up I would be so darn critical of myself. I had to learn how to love myself more, and fully embrace the many sides of me. Even the sides of myself that I’m not really a fan of.
4. Know your worth, and embrace the fact that you know it.
25 taught me knowing my worth and acting like I know my worth are two totally different things. I was blessed to have parents (a mawmaw, aunties, and cousins too) whom taught me my value as a woman from a very early age. I was raised to know I was a queen and to conduct myself in that matter. However, once I grew older I began to realize not everyone will immediately see or appreciate your value. I began to conform my beliefs as a woman in order to not intimidate others who didn’t have the same upbringing as I did. Then one day I realized, hunny that is not my ministry, and if someone wants to be in my life or vice versus then they will play by my rules…and my standards. I completely stopped caring about intimating others. Please know the only type of people that can be intimated are the weak kind, and you should not want weak people around you.
5. Embrace selfishness.
Being an only child I am often labeled as selfish. I always laugh if off but deep down I was always bothered by that remark. Until I realized the word selfish doesn’t always have to be synonymous with words like spoiled or bratty. Selfish is defined as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” Since when is caring and putting your needs first a bad thing? It’s not. Your twenties, should be your selfish years. You should choose your well-being over everything. Inner-peace is a crucial component for one’s happiness, and if being a little selfish helps you to achieve your happy-place then so be it. Now, I understand life has gotten in the way for some people and they can’t afford to be selfish. However, as a woman with no kids, or serious attachment to a significant other I have the luxury to be as selfish and self-centered as I want to be.
I have to say overall 25 was a damn good year. I learned more about myself during those 12 months than ever in life. It was like this shift happened in my life. I started to view my life, the world, and just everything around me from a fresh perspective. I never knew I could learn so much about life in just one year.
I’m excited for all of the grand life lessons 26 will bring. I’m looking forward to making some new, exciting, and hilarious memories. So au revoir 25…and bonjour 26! I’m sure these next 11 months will be filled with pure awesomeness.
Well Until Next Time,
*me on 9/20/2016 holding the camera I used for the “Chains” filming.
So it’s no secret, I’ve gone slightly ghost on my beloved website, but umm I’ve been extremely busy. Yes, I know that’s probably one of the most cliché excuses someone could give…but it’s the truth.
As most of you all may know I’m an actress, but at the beginning of this year I decided to transition to behind the scenes and start a production company. In June, I began the pre-production for my first short film project “Chains: The Story Of A Lost Black Man’s Soul.” I knew that making a film would take a lot of commitment and time, but what I didn’t know was how hard it would be to maintain my many other gigs. Multitasking has always been one of my strong suits so I figured adding “making a film” to my list of to-dos would be no big deal. Oh how I was I wrong.
Throughtout this entire “I’m becoming a filmmaker” process I’ve had several grand a-ha moments, and I’ve learned so much about myself as a businesswoman and a creative. Solidifiying myself as a legit filmmaker has been such a whirlwind and surreal experience. The most important lesson I learned from this is that you can’t always do everything on your own and that it is okay to ask for help sometimes. I can’t say thank you enough to my diligent production team and talented cast of “Chains.” Truthfully, their encouraging words is the only reason I haven’t completely lost my mind throughout this process.
Although the film is still in production, I’m making a commitment to all of my DEVandtheCITY supporters whom have been constantly asking me what’s going on with the site to make it one of my top priorities again. The fact that you all have missed that I haven’t been consistently updating the website means the world to me. Thank you all so much for all of your continuous love and support.
You can look forward to more thinkpieces, style and beauty tips, fun cocktails recipes, and interviews with the dopest up-and-coming talent coming soon! I’m ecstatic to continue to share my life’s journey with you all.