You F*****d Up…So What?

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As a 20-something year-old whom is still learning and growing, it’s safe to say I’ve made a mistake or two (or three) in my life. I’ve trusted the wrong person, kept dealing with that not-so good guy, and said the wrong thing at the worse possible time. I found myself constantly beating myself up for making mistakes and having faults. Then, one day it hit me, I’m in my twenties…and your twenties are your “trail and error” years.

I came to this much needed realization last year. 2015 was truly the year of self-reflection for me. I began a journey where I promised I would be more honest with myself. My entire life I have always tried to be the “perfect” girl. I never admitted when I was wrong, knew EVERYTHING, and mistakes…what exactly are those again? Then, I had a random conversation with someone and it dawned on me I was depriving myself of growth. And for what? So I could be “right” all the time? There is no real joy in that.

After acknowledging I was human, just like everyone else in the world. I began to realize exactly how flawed I actually was, and hunty old perfectionist Dev began to BULLY the new carefree side of myself. I would beat myself up for making the slightest mistake. Finally one day, my dear darling friend Hèbert said “As long as you keep over-analyzing your mistakes, you’re not really living.” Boy was he right. What’s the point of beating yourself up for making human mistakes? Experience is your best teacher, and some things you just have to go through in order to become a better version of yourself.

Now, I embrace the fact that I don’t have it all figured out. Do I know some things? Of course! My parents didn’t raise no fool, but I realize there is so much more I need to learn in order to become the best Deveney that I can be. I’ve grown into a person that doesn’t mind admitting that I still have some more growing to do. I no longer beat myself up for making mistakes. It’s just not healthy, and anything that sacrifices your inner peace is just not worth dwelling on.

I must say I never realized how much happiness could come once I stop caring about the little things, like knowing it all. It’s okay to not have it all together. Life is a feeling process, and you won’t ever truly feel your way through life until you stop thinking every little thing through. So toss away that 5-year plan, and go in whatever direction that feels right. As long as you trust God you will never end up on the wrong path.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “Enjoy yourself, that’s what your twenties are for.” Will you get it right all the time? Probably not, and that’s okay.

Until Next Time,
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2 Responses to You F*****d Up…So What?

  1. Hebert says:

    Alright Dev, come through!

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