Photo | bingimages
I haven’t always been this strong, self-assured, and confident woman that I am today. I can recall a time in my life where I was so lost or even confused on what it even meant to be a confident woman. Growing up, I was always surrounded by such beautiful and strong women, who without even saying one word commanded the attention of everyone every time they walked into a room. Something I always wanted, but never quite understood how to do.
When I got to my teen years, like most people I began to second-guess everything about me, and truthfully I began to ask the age old question “Am I good enough?” I would pick myself a part physically and mentally. It didn’t matter how much others complimented me, I never quite believed them, I almost felt like they saw me as severely flawed and only told me positive things out of pity. This way of thinking lasted until maybe my sophomore year of college.
At 19, I began to learn about the art of Kabbalah. Kabbalah means to receive, and is the ancient wisdom that reveals how the universe and life work. It teaches you how to receive fulfillment within your life. A huge part of Kabbalah is reciting healthy affirmations. I began to really sit with myself, meditate, and learn why I felt such negative things about myself. I started practicing daily affirmations that focused on inner peace and understanding my self-worth.
After about a month or so of reciting my affirmations, I started believing others when they complimented me because I began to see the beauty within myself. I began to realize perfection is not attainable and that I am a work of art created by God himself (or herself) and that alone makes me good enough. I stopped apologizing for my beliefs and morals. I stopped caring about others perception of who I am. I began to truly see myself, my real self, and love the woman who I saw in the mirror everyday.
Cut to now, I am probably the happiest I have ever been with myself. When I say I love me, hunty I love me. I am so proud of the woman that I’ve grown into, and I will never apologize for being authentically myself. I gotten to this space in life where I now know if someone doesn’t like me, it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with them. As my Hébert would say “Hunni, they just can’t take, and that’s okay.” So call me conceited, vain, and any other similar adjective. I’ve worked incredibly hard to become the empowered woman that I am today, and I refuse to apologize for having such a beautiful, bold, and bright aura.
If you haven’t gotten to this place of sanctity please know that it is okay. It takes time, and is not something that will happen overnight. Finding peace within yourself is not an easy thing, but it is extremely necessary. It’s the only true way you will grow. I promise you that one day you will get there.
Remember being beautiful has nothing to do with physicality, but everything to do with who you are on the inside. Truly beautiful people have a light that comes from within them. They have an energy that is unmatched. And they have a spirit that is so captivating you can feel the happiest that lies within their soul.
Now go out find your inner-peace, find your happiness, and most importantly find your self-worth…and don’t you ever apologize for it.