Shoulda..Coulda…Woulda

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So it’s 2:24 am, and I can’t seem to fall asleep. And what does Dev do when she can’t sleep you ask? Contemplate about EVERY last thing that has ever happened to me in life, the good and the bad. That would probably drive most people insane, but fortunately for me I’m not most people. As I lied down listening to Pandora, I started to imagine how my life would be if I would have done a few things differently. You know, like if I would have kept certain friendships, or if I would have continued to date this guy, or what if I attended UCLA after undergrad like I was suppose to. How would life be? Would I still be the same Deveney I am right now?

Honestly, I highly doubt it. If you know me, you know that since the age of 5 I had my life planned out to a tee. Then all of sudden, my junior year of college to be exact, I started to realize wait I don’t really want to be a psychologist. I really don’t want to do anything I have planned. I had never felt so lost in my life. For the first time my perfect little life plan was brought to a quick halt. I began to feel like I had wasted my time going to school to gain a degree I’m not even going to use. Then I remembered everything in life happens for a reason. God wouldn’t let me get this far in school if it wasn’t for a greater purpose. And you know what I was right, even though I don’t use my degree in the conventional sense I definitely still use it.

Now as I reflect on that time, I appreciate that my life didn’t go according to plan. It wasn’t until I felt lost, that I really started living life, and discovering who I am. I’m grateful for all of my experiences, and thankful for all the lessons I learned along the way. You know as humans we often wonder what if, but I’m a firm believer that nothing happens by chance. It’s all apart of God’s perfect plan, so stop thinking shoulda, coulda, woulda, and just be thankful for the memories.

Until next time,
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